Finally…the guys' side of
the story.
We always hear “The
Rules" from the female side. Now
here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
· Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST
& FOREMOST RULE)
· Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you
leaving it down.
· Sunday sports or news: it's like the
full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
· Crying is blackmail.
· Ask for what you want. Let us be
clear on this one:
· Subtle hints do not work!
· Strong hints do not work!
· Obvious hints do not work!
· Just say it!
· Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
· Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we
do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends
are for.
· Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void
after 7 Days.
· If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
· If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes
you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
· You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.
· Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials...
· Captain Cook did NOT need directions and neither do we.
· ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
· If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
· If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying,
but it is just not worth the hassle.
· If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
· When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...really.
· Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as Football or Cars.
· You have enough clothes.
· You have too many shoes.
· I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
· Thank you for reading this. (Yes, I
know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.)
