—Richard Lamm
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
—Dave Barry
Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.
—P. J. O'Rourke
I didn't know the full dimensions of forever, but I knew it was longer than waiting for Christmas to come.
—Richard Brautigan
Some businessmen are saying this could be the greatest Christmas ever. I always thought that the first one was.
—Art Fettig
The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
—Joan Rivers
From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.
—Katharine Whitehorn